The Big Little Lies

“Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth.

“Sooner or later that debt is paid”.

While we were growing we were all told to be always truthful. Truth is a virtue, it is always supposed to come out. Maybe they do but as we all grow up we all learn how to lie. We all start with small little lies like trying to explain why the condensed milk can is empty and why we bunked tuitions. We grow up a little more, we lie a little more. ‘I am fine’ becomes the biggest lie of them all. We hide our failures, our broken hearts and our lonely souls behind well-crafted lies and facades. At some point, the lines between the truth and the lie get blurred and we start believing the lie we are living.

I told a lie to my mother today when she asked about a friend and whether I am in contact with her. I lied about being in touch with her and meeting her whenever she comes to Kolkata. The truth is I have not spoken to her for close to 20 months and I do not know whether I ever will. She lives a few kilometres away from my place and pretty much lives in the city.

And yet I lied and I do not know why. My mother liked her and I didn’t want to colour the memories she had of my friend. Maybe, if I told the truth I also would have to explain the ‘whats’ and the ‘whys’. Maybe, I didn’t want my mother to know that her son has managed to lose another friend. The lie helped me to navigate out of an awkward conversation I didn’t want to have with anyone, lest my mother.

In a utopian world, I would have told the truth and my mother would have accepted that friends drift apart without judging anyone. But this isn’t utopia and lies are often the bedrocks of our society whether we like it or not because confronting truth is often awkward.

And that is the gist of it — the truth is uncomfortable and painful. The lies, while often deceitful, is mostly comfortable.

I always strive to be honest but I often lie to delay the world falling apart.